I love Sam’s class so freaking much.
Hannah’s class yesterday was all body weight stuff. I only had to modify a handful of things, which was nice. This whole no squats/deadlifts/lifting over my head/back extension nonsense is for the birds.
Repeat 3 times, no rest between exercises, 1 min rest between circuits:
50 jumping jacks
10 push ups
20 squats (modified to do lunges)
20 bicycle crunches (modified to do them standing)
50 high knees
15 side plank (with hip lift - right)
20 squats (modified to do lunges)
15 side plank (with hip lift - left)
50 mountain climbers
8 walking lunges (each side)
20 plank knee crosses
8 reverse lunges (each side)
a few min rest
ideally would have been repeated 3-5 times, but we ended up only doing it once
:30 jump rope
30 jumping jacks
25 high knees
10 crunches (modified to do them on stability ball)
7 squats (modified to do lunges)
1 min wall sit
7 squats (modified to do lunges)
10 crunches (on stability ball)
25 high knees
30 jumping jacks
:30 jump rope
Hooooo Haaaaaa it was an awesome workout.
I haven’t shared a small victory with you in a while, have I? Today’s is kind of fun. For the past like, month and a half, I was chillin on that plateau. Not losing weight, not seeing any results, just getting more and more frustrated by the day. Then a little over a week ago, things started moving again. Dropped four pounds in as many days, clothes started getting looser again, basically back on track.
And then this weekend happened. I drank, and I ate, and I enjoyed life. I didn’t concern myself with whether or not I should eat another s’more or how many calories were in my burger. I got to be a normal 23 year old. And it was awesome.
Now that’s not the victory; I’ve finally hit a point in this journey that I’m ready to take steps to live like a normal human being with some sort of social life. That’s taking baby steps, but it’s happening.
No no, the small victory came today. I woke up Sunday morning SEVEN pounds heavier than I was Friday morning. SEVEN. Like, suddenly I had a tiny dog attached to my person. Now OBVIOUSLY that’s not weight that’s sticking around. Even if I did eat like absolute hell all weekend (I really didn’t) there’s no way I ate enough for my body to be like KEEPING THIS! So yeah. But you know how my brain is, so when I woke up Monday and it was still there, I got a little panicky. What if it is sticking around? What if I really ate that much? I spent the day pretty pissed off at myself for eating like that and putting myself back on that plateau.
Where’s the victory, Theresa? IT’S COMING, GIVE ME A MINUTE.
So I woke up this morning after a terrible night’s sleep, stepped on the scale, and five of those pounds were still there. Five is better than seven, but still not where I would like to be. Now at this point I had a choice: I could either spend the day in the same funk as Monday, spiral like I did last time I gained mystery weight, or I could say you know what? Eff it.
That’s right. Eff it. So what if eating like hell made me gain five pounds? It’s not like I’m going to keep eating that way and gain another five and then another until I’m over 300 pounds again. It’s not like I’m going to stop working out as hard. It’s not like life is going to be any different than it was when I lost the first 70 pounds. So what is the point in beating myself up, feeling like crap, and regretting a weekend that was more fun than I’ve had in a long time?
Spoiler alert: there isn’t one.
I was talking to a friend this morning who was discouraged that she had fallen a little out of shape from taking some time off from the gym. And she was beating herself up over gaining three pounds. And then I told her about my seven, and I laughed it off, and that’s when the small victory hit me: I really am okay.
I really don’t care if I have to lose that weight again. I am okay if it takes me another year to get to my imaginary “goal” weight. This life is going to be full of setbacks and screw ups and falls and if I can’t learn I get through them without bullying myself in the process I am not going to survive.
So there you have it. Today’s small victory is pretty cool I guess. :)
- 6 days ago
I’m not allowed to do squats, dead lifts, back extensions, or lift anything over my head for two weeks. I also have a sexy donut to sit on. Mmmm lovely.
So what happened? Well, as we all know, I had that lovely stint of sciatica several months ago (spoiler alert: was it really sciatica? Maybe not) that has since caused me to have pain in my right leg and lower back pretty much anytime I do any exercises just a little out of my comfort zone. It’s something I’ve accepted is going to happen and I deal. But for the past few weeks, I’ve had shooting pain down the back of both of my legs and pain across my lower back all the time. Stretching didn’t really help, working out definitely made it worse, and it wasn’t normal. At the same time, I’ve been having horrendously bad pain in my tailbone anytime I do any exercises on my back. Sit ups, V-ups, leg lifts, all of that made me want to cry. So I found a new, good doctor and went to get checked out.
We aren’t really sure what’s causing the back issues. My X-rays didn’t show any major issues. But he was able to figure out what movements made it way worse. So he made me a list of things to avoid and gave me anti-inflammatories. As far as my tailbone, luckily it’s not the bone. I have a lovely cyst sitting on top of it that makes me want to die any time I put pressure on it. Hence the sexy donut. I only really need it when I’m doing floor exercises though, not just sitting in general. So that’s good.
There’s my health saga. I’m really grateful to have found a doctor who actually listens to me and knows what he’s talking about.
Through all of this, I’ve focused a lot on the emotional and external physical changes. I haven’t focused as much on the internal physical ones. Working out a lot means that sometimes I’m going to get injured. But as long as I learn as I go what I can and can’t do and how important correct form is, I should be okay. But it’s also about paying attention to my body. When I feed it well, it performs better. When I rest it, it rewards me. And when it gives me pain that isn’t just soreness, I need to listen to it.
Today’s run did not go at all as planned. But I’m trying to be okay with that. The plan was to run from Capitol park down university then back to the park down Bryant.
Not so much.
I made it a little over three and a half miles before I had to walk. Then I did another half mile and said nah, let’s walk the rest of this out.
I’m actually not beating myself up over this as much as I thought I would. There were a lot of factors to it. And these aren’t excuses; these are learning points for next time.
First of all, this was my first run on sidewalks. Ever. They are uneven, there are streets to contend with, people, garbage, and a lot of factors that I don’t deal with on the riverwalk. I also got stopped by a lady asking for directions. Not so good for the continuity.
The northport riverwalk is completely flat. It’s a lot easier to go far when you’re not going up and down hills. This route, while not terribly hilly for most people, was definitely a challenge for me. The half mile from moody to rite aid is a steady incline. I will definitely keep that in mind next time.
I shouldn’t have expected to be able to go as far on a route I’ve never done before. I had no idea that hill was there; I can’t expect to throw a half mile incline in and still be able to go six and a half miles.
My pace was a good bit faster than it’s been lately. Not sure what that was about. Well yes I do. I was really excited to get after it. Running sidewalks makes me feel more like a legit runner. I don’t know why, but it does. So I let that interfere with my pacing and gassed it too soon.
It’s much warmer out this morning than it’s been the past few weeks. Blech. And I definitely ate breakfast too close to when I ran.
So all of that played a role in me only getting in four miles of running today. However, I did walk the rest of the mileage. And it’s beautiful outside, I got to hear a jazz band play, and I learned so much this morning that will only improve my future runs.
So let’s call it a success, a learning experience, and get on with the day.
PS, Shout out to my mom and my brother!! They did the run or dye 5k this morning. It was my mom’s first one and I’m SO proud of her!!!!
There was an article or a video or something a while back that talked about women trying to figure out how little space they could occupy. Being overweight all of my life, I’ve been very, very aware of how much space I occupy. It was sliding uncomfortably into desks, squeezing my thighs together as hard as I could to take up less room in the chairs that they put impossibly close together at weddings, and praying I’d get the empty seat next to me on flights.
I think every woman is aware of how much space they take up. Do we all try to master the art of taking up less? Is it folding your arms in your lap, crossing one leg over the other, leaning back to not feel so in the way? My body has changed a lot over the past several months. It’s so much smaller than it was. My arms are less flabby, my thighs sprawl less when I sit in a chair. But there’s still that feeling inside of me that I’m taking up too much space. That I somehow need to will myself to be smaller, more petite, more feminine.
Last night, I sat in the backseat of a car with two of my friends. We fit pretty comfortably, and I only took up the space allotted for my seat. I could buckle my seatbelt easily, without fumbling for the buckle underneath my thigh. I even commented to my friend how exciting it was to finally be able to do that. To fit comfortably in a situation that to 90% of people is totally normal. Everyone has squeezed into a backseat before. It’s funny, it’s awkward, and its almost always uncomfortable. But before this journey, I always rode shotgun. It was just an accepted, unspoken rule. No one wants to squeeze in with the fat girl in the backseat. Hell, no one CAN.
So for me, relaxing in the backseat, not worried about if my arm flab was touching my friend, or my thighs and hips were invading her space, was a serious victory.
But then today I was reminded that the brain is a funny thing. Just as easily as I celebrated my car seat comfort, I reverted back to my self conscious nonsense. Sitting in a normal size chair, I no longer feel like I’m in someone else’s space. I take up my space, my chair, my comfortable zone. But as soon as one of my guy friends sat down next to me, I seized up. Suddenly I sucked my stomach in, sat up straighter and leaned away, certain I was in his way. I did not suddenly expand, he did not think I was in his space at all, and yet self conscious Theresa decided to see just how little space she could take up.
I’m not sure where that comes from, but I’m grateful to be aware of it now. I deserve to take up as much space as I want to, especially if I’m not encroaching on anyone else. And you know what? If they are my friends, they definitely don’t care how much space I take up. Sucking in my stomach doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, except to distract me from what I’m trying to do. I’m not suddenly more attractive or valuable just because I can cross my legs and fold my hands in my lap and occupy less space.
I’m not honestly sure where this rambling came from this evening, but I told y’all I was going to keep writing the embarrassingly honest stuff. If I don’t tell the whole truth, the emotional crap that I never thought I’d have to deal with, I’m not helping anyone. This is a physical, mental, spiritual journey. One without the others isn’t worth a thing.
Last night’s run was awesome! I ran with my friend Leesa around the Forest Lake neighborhood. I’ve been bored with the river walk so it was time to change it up. And I’ve never actually run with someone else, so that was a new experience. I loooved it though! This pace (notice I finally figured out how to get it to display my pace?) is basically what my race pace is, which was really exciting!! I only sort of wanted to die, and she was only a little slower than her normal pace. Match made in running heaven!
So hopefully we will do more runs together soon. :) I think I’ll probably be flying solo on my sprints for a while, but that’s a good thing. They suck.
Oh and why is there a picture of tux? Cause I needed to use this layout to display the other two pictures correctly and had to fill that space with something!