Ladies, never underestimate the value of a good sports bra. Invested in the new Victoria’s Secret incredible bra. Did sprints this morning. A++++++
It’s true. In my days of self-loathing and low self esteem, I welcomed any “positive” comment about how I looked from strangers. It happened most frequently in my days in New York - it’s a different culture, a different mix of people, and just a larger volume of men (and women) daring enough to share EXACTLY what is on their minds.
Sometimes it’s innocuous; “hey girl”, “yo ma”, “sup beautiful?”. Those can be greetings. Maybe you do just want to say hello, or see how my day is going. But it’s the up and down leers that coincide with the greetings that turn it into something more. Turn it into a feeling that I no longer own my body. That you feel the right to tell me EXACTLY what you would do to it, given the chance.
Like I said, I used to welcome it. When I didn’t love myself, was convinced no one could find me attractive, a guy walking down the street telling me I have a nice rack made me feel like I had some worth. That if a stranger on the street thought I was pretty, maybe someone someday could love me.
Y’all, I know that’s messed up. But that’s what happens when you can’t find love for yourself. When you think the only way to validate who you are is through those around you.
But here’s the thing; it’s harassment. Yelling at a stranger lewd comments and things you’d do to her isn’t a compliment, it isn’t a way to get a date and it isn’t something we as a society should accept. It’s a way to strip a woman (or a man) of their power, to take their humanity away and reduce them to an object for you to judge and take advantage of.
I shouldn’t have to worry about when the line gets crossed, when the guy decides it’s acceptable to put his hands on me. I should be able to wear whatever I please without fear of someone reducing me to an object.
It’s alright to tell someone you think they are beautiful. It’s alright to approach a stranger and try to start a conversation. But it’s never alright to harass someone because you feel you have the right to objectify them and say whatever is in your head. And if you approach someone and they don’t want to chat, you have to let it go. They don’t owe you anything; not a smile, not a number, not a hug. You owe them the comfort of walking down the street without worrying about what lewd comment is going to be thrown at them next.
It’s a little awkward when BBW blogs start following you. Like…sorry y’all, the most you’re getting are awkward sweaty face pics after I run. Not so sexy.
My butt is so sore. Leg day got me good yesterday. But darn it all if I haven’t squatted myself a fine booty.
Yesterday I had a cheesy sandwich and fries and beer. I also ran six and a half miles, showed my friend proper lunge form and got a million comments on how tiny my waist looks. I also had a few moments of why am I such a failure why doesn’t anyone love me what am I doing here? I also realized I’m where I’m at for a reason and I’m so excited and blessed to have the opportunities I’ve had.
So clearly, it’s really really all about balance. And by balance I mean I’m a crazy person who experiences all of this in the span of 12 hours.
And then I slept 11 hours.
I KNOW I told y’all I was going to cool it. And I am, I swear. BUT a friend of mine was teaching class today and he was nervous so I told him I’d take it. SO SUE ME. But really, it made it glaringly obvious that I DO need to ease up a bit. I felt really woozy and ill after class. SO YEP. CONFIRMED.
ANYWAY. It was a rough one today, man.
2 rounds, :45 each
pushup plank knee to chest
toe touches on riser
single leg burpees - R
single leg burpees - L
lateral jump burpees
fast feet (:20)
HOLY MOTHER. That thing was rough, man. But imagining doing it on a day I hadn’t already lifted for an hour is encouraging. I could push even harder, do even more. And that’s progress and positive thinking. So I like it.